Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Quality vs. Quantity

I'm going to apply the age-old argument of Quality vs. Quantity in dissecting the celebrity rooting interests in the upcoming Rose Bowl. Rather than forming cogent arguments in a well-structured essay, I am going to list whom I consider to be important famous supporters of the beloved, and the others...


USC:

Adam Herbert - President of Indiana University....figures.
Neil Armstrong - First to walk on the moon

Baseball players: Aaron Boone, Bret Boone, Morgan Ensberg, Geoff Jenkins, Fred Lynn, Mark McGwire, Mark Prior...all of which have been accused of or rumored to be involved with steroids. Oh, and a giant Poofter.

Professional Golfer- Craig Stadler. I'll take the thousands of Chicago city workers that look like walruses over one golfer.


Dan Bane - President of Trader Joe's - Hippie

Chris DeWolfe - Co-founder of MySpace - as far as I can tell, he's not Tom

James Jannard - Founder of Oakley Sunglasses - making Brian Bosworth still look cool.

LeVar Burton - actor - was he Carlton? maybe Webster?







Sophia Bush - actress- dammit, she's hot




John Carpenter - film director- "Halloween" was cool...but that was 27 years ago.

America Ferreira - actress - "Ugly Betty"...I think my grandma likes that show.

Ron Howard - film director - Am I the only one who doesn't get why he's so revered?? Except that he was the narrator for "Arrested Development" and that show is the balls.

Matthew Lawrence - actor - Whoa! Oh wait, wrong Lawrence...this was the one with the dark girlfriend in Boy Meets World

John Wayne- actor- He went to college!??!

Dexter Holland - musician - Singer for The Offspring...enough said.

Mark McGrath - musician - Singer for Sugar Ray...more worthless than The Offspring

MC Lyte- rapper- She went to college!?!? What are the admissions criteria at USC...shitting on the floor??




Lisa Ling - reporter, former co-host of The View - she's hot too...anyone other than Scott watch Channel 1 in high school and remember her? But I have a thing for the Asians...





BELOVED:

Gene Hackman - actor/professional bad-ass - Bet he loves Grossburgers

Jerry Orbach - actor - Law and Order...da da dum - In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups....

Ang Lee - film director- Brokeback Mountain....ummmm

Andy Richter- actor/comedian- This list is already better than USC's.


Alan Ruck - actor- CAMERON FRYE!!!!






Jim Cantalupo - CEO of McDonald's

Stephen Carter - CEO of El Pollo Loco and former President/COO of Universal Studios Hollywood- we've taken over LA already!

Robert L. Johnson - Founder of BET. Thank you, sir!

Michael P. Krasny - Founder of CDW. Employer of one Scott Miller Collins

Abe Saperstein - Creator of the Harlem Globetrotters

Ed Boon- Creator of Mortal Kombat - fatality!!


Jawed Karim - Co-Founder of YouTube

Fazlur Khan - Designer and builder of Sears Tower

H. Gene Slottow - Inventor of plasma display

Roger Ebert - film critic and way better than Siskel and Roeper...put together







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