Illinois overcome by Announcer Favoritism and USC Star-Power, Alumni

One can hardly blame the Illini, already facing a SoCal team before a largely SoCal crowd in a SoCal stadium, for folding - like an aluminum can in one of those can crusher things my grandpa has in his garage - after two red zone appearances resulted in bizarre turnovers and USC touchdowns in the third quarter. With the momentum clearly shifting to the Illinois sideline after two third-quarter defensive stops of a previously hard-to-stop USC offense, split by a 79-yard touchdown scamper by Rashard Mendenhall, Illinois glory quickly deflated. On top of all that, Illinois had to deal with the attention-seeking alumni of USC (pictured below) who paced the sidelines in an endless search for camera time. The famed mugs were Ronnie Lott (dude who had his finger torn off during an NFL game once), Will Ferrell (who plays baketball player/coach/owner Jackie Moon in the February 2008 film Semi-Pro ), Marcus Allen (Heisman), Keyshawn Johnson ("Give Me the Damn Ball") and Matt Leinhart (Heisman).



As if that wasn't enough, the allegedly neutral ESPN GameDay announcer, Lee Corso, famous for his quasi-retarded antics, was seen sneaking the lame USC "V" sign (pictured below) while the lame USC band played and the not-at-all-lame USC song girls hotly did whatever it is they do.



I'd like to see a No-Ill rematch at Soldier Field with Dick Butkus, Hugh Heffner, and the inventors of SuperSweet corn and Craisins patrolling the Illini sidelines for camera time, while some senile announcer chanted the "INI" return call to the Illini cheerleaders' "ILL" shouts. Yep, Illinois probably would win that one - unless they still had as many stupid/impossible turnovers as they did in the real game.